Sex in fanfiction part 6 – Dialogue in Sex Scenes


everyone is wearing ‘panties’ and I don’t know about you, but I only wear nice knickers if i’m planning on sex

The other day I had a rather giggly discussion with a friend about the use of dialogue in sex scenes. We share some fandoms, but we have ones that don’t overlap. One thing we discovered was that the same couple of phrases and lines tend to be used over and over again, and I don’t know about you, but some of them I would never utter while in bed, and I’ve been known to utter some complete and utter filth when the notion takes me.

As discussed in the previous posts about monotony in sex scenes with regards to actions, there is a certain amount of monotony and repetition in the dialogue used – some of which is natural and we’ve all said it. This post isn’t really a criticism on the various uses of dialogue, this is more of a discussion about the use of dialogue and the various words and phrases that we hear a lot – some of which are, from a personal POV, quite alarming.

1. Gasping a name / gasp of name cut off

We’ve all seen it, usually just before oral sex commences, you know the scene – one partner kisses down the torso and then we get the ‘John-!’ or commonly the ‘Jo-!’ Which, you know, is fine. But it’s getting a bit old now, especially as it’s normally used in Variation A (see 

2. I love you

Yeah, I know, we’ve all said it during sex at some stage. But consider it’s place in the scene. I mean, in a fluff piece or something angsty or a long slow build then it probably fits. But in a short kinky dirty scene is it really something that would be said, or something that fits into that scene. Also, consider the characters involved – is it actually something that character would say? Ever? Let alone during sex?

3. You’re so tight!

Strangely this tends to come up more in slash fic than hetero, and well, without wanting to be crude, it’s an arsehole, it’s meant to be tight. It’s primary function is to stop stuff falling out. I’m also not really sure that this is a particularly romantic or sexy thing to say to someone at that exact moment, I mean, you’re basically saying ‘You’re rectum is fully functioning.’

4. Are you sure? / Can I?

Okay, so I’m a little torn on this. One on hand I think it’s good to get that ‘yes’ in a clear way that cannot be misunderstood, and I cannot stress enough how no means no, no matter what the situation. But at the same time, once you get to that point, part of me feels that if there is enough doubt radiating from the other person that you have to ask that question, then it’s time to stop what you are doing and go home. So this line is a difficult one for me as a writer and as a person, and I can see the need for it, but I really wish I didn’t need to see the need. 

 5. Gasping of names just before climax

While it is a wonderfully empowering experience to push someone to such pleasure that they call out your name because it’s the only thing they can think of at that moment, in reality, if someone were to gasp my name like that at that moment I would, in all likelihood I would stop what I was doing and ask ‘what?’ thinking there was something wrong.

6. If you keep doing that I won’t be able to stop

You will if I twist your balls.

7. You taste so good

Lies! Lies and damned lies. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. I tend to find that these sort of lines come from younger writers who are more likely to have less sexual experience. Personally, while it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever had in my mouth, I certainly wouldn’t say that either of those particular bodily fluids taste ‘good.’ But each to their own I suppose  after all, some people like sweetcorn. Strangely enough, no one ever says ‘I’m not putting that in my mouth.’

8. I’m clean

This is one line that really worries me. I’ve read it a lot in fic, and I’ve also heard it a lot in real life (and no, I’ve never once believed it) and it’s the sort of line that makes me consider the responsibility writers have when it comes to how they present and deal with topics such as sexual health and contraception. It’s also a kind of skeezey line to say and makes me think that the character has said it a lot before, and it can cast them in a really negative light. Likewise, female characters who don’t worry about condoms with a new partner because they are on the pill. I wish I could say that this was something only young and inexperienced and uneducated girls think is okay, but you would be shocked at how many fully grown adult women I know who were shocked to find out that their contraceptive pill would not protect them from STDs. *sigh* You can read more on my thoughts on this in my post on contraception : 

9. You’ve done that before / I’ve never done this before

Usually one partner says the first line after a suspiciously good instance of Variation 1. 

As I said, I’m not really criticising some of the dialogue that’s used in fanfiction, I just wanted to highlight some of the most commonly used phrases to show how we tend to use dialogue in a way that can be just as monotonous as the Variations.

So, you’re mission for this week, should you choose to accept it, (and I won’t mind if you don’t because it’s a bit odd) is to keep a list of the things you say during sex and see how it compares to the list above.

Happy copulating folks.

Love, etc



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